Dear P

Dear P,

after almost 2 years you coldly walked out on me, I could finally manage to close my history book with you. I don't hate you anymore (that’s one of my biggest achievements ever!).

Instead, I want to remember you simply as a man ever making one of my dreams come true. Yes, you took me to that sunflower field, where as far as my eyes could roam were only high bushes of huge, bright yellow petals bowing respectfully to the sun - the master of the universe! I won't ever forget that day, P, and I think you should know that!

I've never believed in love, P, though once in a very ancient history my subconscious might have. I don't know if I ever really loved you, but I surely felt like gasping for air when you called the things off between us. Well, maybe it’s just vehicle exhausts going into my lungs when crossing that busy street at rush hour with tears clouding my eyes. Hey, but P, no more tears for me now! You should be proud of me for that!

Just for your info, P, someone took me for granted again like what you had done. I wonder if he took a short course on How To Break A Heart from you. But at least this time this person was honest when he said he wasn’t ready for a commitment. No, I don’t want a ring wrapped around my finger, for all I need is a lifejacket when my fragile raft is sailing in an ocean so wide with tides so high. Is that too much to ask?

P, not that I care, but do you still think of me? I do, especially when I watch Discovery Travel & Living Channel and the globetrekker traveling down your fucked-up-but-beautiful-in-its-own-way country. I don’t know where you are now, but if you give me your recent address, I’m gonna send back your T-shirt and blanket you left me with. I still use them on daily basis, though, but what yours are always yours, for they’re never gonna be mine. Do not argue with me on this, just take them back OK!

Anyway, I have deleted all of our pictures together. (I hope you don't mind!) Yes, all, but the ones taken at that sunflower field. Have a good life, P, do always try to walk on the sunny side of the street!

Sincerely,

someone who still adores sunflowers even though the days of sunflower field have long gone