Green With Envy

Seeing Sylvia Llewelyn-Davis (charmingly acted out by Kate Winslet) - a widowed mother with 4 young boys in Finding Neverland, I could only stare at the screen green with envy. It's so heartmelting the way she handles the boys, especially each time she calls them 'darling' with that adorable British accent.

I've always wanted to be exactly like her having 4 cute boys. (Even one of hers is named Michael - my baby boy's name!) Damn! I don't care if I don't have a partner to raise them. I've never wanted a husband, anyway! Well, I thought I wanted to have one, but then I realized that he would be nothing but burden instead of help. Besides, I've always been good with kids, but never with men - though kids would eventually grow into men. After all, when the kids have turned into men, they would be someone else's problems, ie. their lovers or wives, not mine anymore. But who knows I might be long gone by the time they're really men.

But it seems I have to let go of having 4 boys dream. In fact, I've let it go for good now. Above and beyond, I just can't let my very flesh and blood live in this corrupt world. But if I'm ever gonna make it till 30 and feel like handling the responsibility of being a parent, I might just adopt some unfortunate boy from an orphanage. I'll still name him Michael and love him like he's my own. I'll educate him so well that when he grows up, girls would surely kiss the ground he's walking on!