I'm A PhD

If men were my learning lessons, then perhaps I would've already held a PhD by now. Imagine how cool it is, a PhD! Imagine how many people on this Earth actually having that degree? Not many, I believe. I could arrogantly put it behind my name as if it's a status symbol certifying I'm bigger than other people's life. And at the same time it makes my own name I always hate suddenly sound better.

Why is it we're always forced to take lessons from whatever life experiences we have? Can't we just confirm an experience or two as a meaningless malfunction? Like I still don't see any lesson I should learn till now from someone saying something about reducing the geographical distance between us only to find the next day he's the one who drew the emotional distance ever further. What fucking is that? A practical joke? Thank you very much. No need to entertain me, cause I prefer to laugh at some slapstick actions in cheap comedy movies like those with Rob Schneider or Adam Sandler in it!