Bluer Than Blue

Watching Before Sunset all over again is like experiencing first-hand what Roberta Flack exactly means when she sings Killing Me Softly: "Singing my life with his words... / Telling my whole life with his words ... / I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud. I prayed that he would finish, but he just kept right on ..."

(Celine to Jessie on a boat trip along the Seine heading to Quai Henri Quatre):

People just have an affair, or even entire relationships, they break up and they forget. They move on like they would have changed brand of cereals. I feel I was never able to forget anyone I’ve been with because each person had their own specific qualities. You can never replace anyone. What is lost is lost. Each relationship, when it ends, really damages me. I never fully recover. That’s why I’m very careful with getting involved because it hurts too much. Even getting laid. Because I will miss of the person the most mundane things like I’m obsessed with little things. I think it’s the same with people. I see in them little details, so specific to each of them that move me and that I miss and will always miss. You can never replace anyone because everyone is made of such beautiful, specific details. Like I remember the way your beard has a bit of red in it and how the sun was making it glow that morning right before you left. I remembered that and I missed it.

Celine to Jessie in a chauffeured Mercedes on the way dropping Celine home:

I was thinking for me it’s better I don’t romanticize things as much anymore. I was suffering so much all the time. I still have lots of dreams, but they’re not in regard to my love life. It doesn’t make me sad, it’s just the way it is.

Jessie:

Is that why you’re in a relationship with somebody who’s never around?

Celine:

Yes, obviously I can’t deal with the day-to-day life of a relationship. Yeah, we have this exciting time together and he leaves and I miss him, but at least I’m not dying inside.
….

Celine:

It’s not so easy for me to be a romantic. You start off that way and after you’ve been screwed over a few times, you forget about your delusional ideas and you take what comes into your life. I’ve just had too many blah relationships. They weren’t mean, they cared for me but there were no real connection or excitement. At least, not from my side.

Still in the car, Celine on reading Jessie’s book which is apparently about their one night together in Vienna 9 years ago:

It reminded me how genuinely romantic I was, how I had so much hope in things and now it’s like I don’t believe in anything that relates to love. I don’t feel things for people anymore. In a way, I put all my romanticism into that one night and I was never able to feel all this again. It makes me cold like love was never for me.
…

Celine:

You know what? Reality and love are almost contradictory for me.
….

Celine:

But what does it mean, the right man, the love of your life? The concept is absurd. We can only be complete with another person. It’s evil right? I guess I’ve been heartbroken too many times and then I recovered.

Jessie:

You can’t live trying to avoid pain.