Nothing's Free Of Charge

Everything comes with a price. Even there's no such thing as free lunch.

On my last day in Surabaya - Sunday that was, before returning to the wretched city where I dwell, I decided to take a little dip in the pool. And if there's a bit sun in my sky, working on my lost tan would be an advantage as well.

But then again, things rarely happen the way you want them to be. At 9 AM went I out of the room in my flowery, white bikini along with the matching sarong. (Surabaya and bikinis don't mix - the place is simply not Bali, for the love of God!) First to have breakfast then to do whatever I wanted to do at the pool. I chose a table overlooking the pool. As I rest my oversized buttom, there were kids with their parents having fun in the sun around the lagoon shaped pool. I could only sigh, for I didn't know what else to do upon seeing a real life version of happily ever after before my very eyes.

Then my coffee came. It was superb, for it was hot and strong just the way I liked it. As my eyes roamed outside the window, I saw a man encouraging a baby girl to swim further toward his way, a woman making a braid out of her little girl's hair, and two young boys running around the pool. Not to mention another woman helping her toddler son putting on a bathing suit, while a man who I assumed to be her husband blowing a miniscule lifejacket for his boy to wear. My heart sunk to my stomach along with the coffee I sipped.

"Do I ever want to be in the scene?" I asked myself.

NO. At least a friend told me she's gonna try with all her might to keep that from happening.

I don't even know if I can stop thinking about the prices I have to pay from merely holding someone's hand. Let alone from the unspoken "I love you too".

I didn't finish my coffee that morning. The chest pain I've been familiar with for quite a bit now came all over again without prior notice. I then left the breakfast table and rushed to my dark room where the world seemed to make a lot more sense to me there.