Stay Away

You said you just wanted to love the whole package of me.

I said nothing, but God knew how bad I wanted to yell at you.

Didn't your mother ever tell you to be careful with what you wish for? Well, I warn you, Mister, the package is absolutely not a child's long-yearned Christmas gift wrapped with a colorful paper and a piece of pretty bow. In fact, it's just an ugly broken box wrapped with a used, dirty newspaper, which dogs will gladly pee on it and anyone would like to kick it with all their might. No, don't even think of getting near it, as I hereby humbly warn you, Sir, how foul it smells, that you may need to hold your breath.

Run for your life! Run while you can! The package is best left untouched at a corner of a dark room.

You'll thank me later for this. But I don't want any reward, though, for I do this simply out of my faint sense of humanity. Now just go. You'll get your bigger, prettier package on your next birthday. Just wait. Don't they all say there'll be good things for those who wait?