Baggage

"I'm literally carrying baggage!" that's what I said to a dear friend I rushed to meet straight from getting off the plane from a city where I was supposed to spend some quality time with someone who not so long ago offered me his hands to hold mine.

That friend replied it with a tight, 10-second hug that only squeezed the tears in me effortlessly. The familiar tears which I thought they had somehow dried, but they're still there somewhere.

A 06.25 flight departing to a certain city where certain someone lives had been my sole reason to get up in the morning for this past 4 months. I kept counting down the days and breathed more easily each day drew closer and nearer. A few hours before the flight, I barely slept though I laid comfortably in my single bed. The excitement was too much that my eyes couldn't help but visualize all the moments I could remember for years to come. All those happy moments I could always dig out from beneath the subconsciousness whenever life is too unbearable.

He gave me a wake up call at 06.00 when my heart was severely bleeding as handing Rp 1 million fiscal fee. It was way too late, since I had asked him to phone me at somewhere around wee small hours of 03.30. But that's okay though, for it's always the thoughts that count.

The 2 hour-flight seemed like a lifetime. I was afraid that by the time I stepped out of the aircraft, I had turned into a 90-year old flabby granny having only a mere few minutes before I had no choice but to face my deathbed and enter Hades.

But I was as young and foolish when I finally made it to the arrival gate. He was there sitting inside his gold colored car waiting for me at a drop off point with that smile and that face I had missed touching all this time. When he finally took me in his muscular arms and mesmerized me with his tantalizingly sensual pour-homme cologne, time stood still. I felt it was one of the best decisions I had ever made for ever coming to see him.

But of course there was no way I could be that lucky. Something had to blow up in my rarely happy face. And it all started when he casually said, "I've handed it in my resignation letter" just during 10 minutes or so after the sports car he was driving left the airport.

We only had 4 days and 3 nights. That's all stolen moment we could manage to steal after 4 months. And he just burst my bubble when he told me he should finish whatever unfinished business he had at work.

I was only a phone call or an email typing away when he submitted the damn letter 2 days earlier, but he didn't even have the courtesy to tell me, so I could at least prepare myself of the possibility of seeing him distant himself from me because of his work. Let alone postponing the trip if I had to.

And that's when all the 3 long, lonely and anxious nights began.