Ode To An Old Stock

Enough of mourning over my recent breakup story. It's pathetic, yes! But I know, he knows, my friends know, my family knows, this blog knows that it's better this way. OK, so I rest my case.

It's time for me to dress to the nines and seduce guys again. But only to seduce. Just to know that I still have my charms. (Here I am in my over - confident - bitch self again!) I'm no longer interested in meaningless sex. (I've had enough of that in the past and it all left me nothing but feeling emptier than before!) Nothing attached this time. I just need a break and have fun. And flirting is my favorite way to do it. Light kisses on both cheeks to end a nice evening would be enough for me.

Just when I made up my mind on that, suddenly through a friend someone from the past came to my cellphone screen again. It began when a close friend of mine texted me last night, asking about buying electronic gadgets in Singapore, or at least if I knew someone who could help her. So I gave her a cellphone number of someone living there almost all his life. Though I haven't seen him for ages, I still keep his number.

That someone's path crossed mine almost 5 years ago. I instantly attracted to him the first time I exchanged words with him. Maybe its' because he's such a good flirt. (Just exactly what I need right now!) He used to say something like: "Tell me straight to my face, are you still goin' solo or you have partner?" or "I'll come up with new idea of surprise tomorrow, you'd better get yourself ready with more electric jolts!!!" (How can I not be attracted to such person?!)

I only had one dinner date with him, which I screwed it up out of my idiocy and lack of social grace at that time. We met at some romantic, al-fresco restaurant on a Friday night. I went there straight from work with loads of documents I had to bring home to finish over the weekend. I didn't drive that night, so I carried all those papers with me to see him. I was 20 minutes late after conquering Friday night's traffic. (Nice, first impression, wasn't it?)

He gave me a little gift. A silver necklace, which I had to pretend to like it, for I never like jewelries. (But at least it was silver, not gold!) We had a nice conversation over dinner. But then I made a stupid mistake. After meal I felt like drinking. So I ordered cocktails. One round and then another, and then another. And since I kept ordering drinks, he also did the same out of politeness, I think. (A gentleman shouldn't let his woman companion drink alone, should he?) I didn't know how much I drank, but it was a lot! Perhaps a lot more than any other women he had gone out with.

But that wasn't my point. I should've held my horses, for it was a first date and he would be the one who paid the bill (not that I mind paying, but that's how the social construction is in this patriarchy society... the man pays on first dates, or his ego will be crushed!) I didn't see how much the bill was, but it must have been very expensive!

Not only that. When leaving the place, I got so many things to carry that I forgot about his little gift. That silver necklace I couldnt' appreciate. I just left the little box on the table. And since he let me walk before him, I bet and am sure he saw that little box containing a silver necklace on the table. But he didn't say anything to remind me of it. Maybe he thought I didn't want it, so I just simply left it there. Well, it won't take a genius for people to tell if I have dislikes toward certain things, for my face and gestures tell it out loud. So yes, I think he knew I didn't like his gift.

After that dinner, he never called or emailed or texted me anymore. I didn't try to contact him myself because I was still embarrassed. So I think I only deserved it. But last night, at 11:28, he texted me (through my friend) that he was gonna be in town on February 14 (that misery-driven-suicide day!) and asked if I wanted to meet him for a wine and dine (I wonder if sixty nine is also in his agenda!).

Why he texted me through my friend because he already lost my number. (Yeah right, he meant, he lost it purposely or simply speaking, he deleted it! What could I expect, anyway?) And I still keep his because he's such a nice guy. Or maybe I still feel guilty over robbing him with my shameless, endless drinks and leaving his gift on the restaurant's table.

Whatever. I'm gonna have myself a date on February 14! Finally. (Do I sound like Bridget Jones? I hope not, because I hate her!!!) By the way, he just texted me saying: "I regret the last time we met, we didn't really explore each other so much. And I wish this time we could."

Explore. Easy, boy, this time we play with my rules!