Unsent

Last night, I had this very strong urge and temptation to text him. I guess I was just lonely and missed him terribly. No wonder, yesterday was our a week breakup commemoration! I guess that's why that crazy urge emerged.

I wrote: "Wish I was a cold bitch* you said I was. Miss you! (triggerred by a Bintang ad I just saw on a roadside billboard**) Damn, wish someone had told me how hard it is to switch feelings off when the power is still on!"

But I haven't sent it. It's only automatically stored in the draft folder of the messaging feature. And I know I shouldn't even think of sending it. Have some dignity!, that's what I told myself.


* He said I was a cold bitch because I didn't cry at movies. (It was Father of The Bride on HBO) On my defence, I told him it wasn't just the right movie to make me cry. Give me Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, Kramer vs Kramer, or Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, then yes, I'd be drenched in tears in no time.

* *Not entirely true. Because other than Bintang ad, there have been a lot ot triggers, like grey haired guys, 1992 Mercedes Benz I saw in the streets, noodle soup, tuna sashimi, Lacoste polo shirts, Malboro red, Thamrin area and beyond, etc. What killing me the most was when I had to write about Lombok for my bi-weekly travel column two days ago. Not only I had to force my mind to go back to those specific days, but I also had to pick one of our holiday pictures for the article... the one without him and me posing as lovers in it, of course!