channelling my ever-grotesque rage

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

(Taking a deep breath... 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1)

Fuck! It's not even 8 o'clock in the morning but I already feel like cursing the word 'fuck' for another tens of thousands times as throwing anything within my reach!

I hate backstabbers!!! I hate people pretending nice and friendly in front me of but then doing unthinkably nasty deeds behind my back! It's happened for the second time. I said and did nothing when the first time something like this happened. But now, I would really have to do something! I hate it because I think I know who's capable of doing something dirty like this. And I hate it because whatever hatred that person has toward me since the first time I stepped my foot in the company, has nothing to do with me. Fuck you psychotic, envious bitch!!!

Someone stole my reimbursement report again. I don't understand why on Earth someone would ever do it. Those papers have no use to that person, but definitely they are to me, because that's the amount of money I lent the company for the past 2 months. And since I lost all the receipts I had carefully glued on papers one by one yesterday, now I just can't have my money back. And that amount is worthy enough to buy 2 pairs of designer shoes. Fuck!

I've just looked again all over for those papers, but they're nowhere to be found. I still remember yesterday afternoon I put the papers on my desk - on the left side next to my monitor on the top of piles of my other documents - before I went with my photographer colleague to shoot some museum pictures for my Travel column. After that I did forget about the papers but really didn't think someone would ever steal them from me! Of all the papers on my desk are still there at the place where I left them, but the reinbursement report is missing! And I don't think the office boy cleaning my office would've ever taken it away. He wouldn't have dared to move anything from anyone's desk. Those papers I've been looking for are, again, no use to anybody but me!!! Fuck!


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