It Won't Be That Easy

Flattery words, check.
Writings composed in such a manner of an outstanding English Lit student, check.
Sugary texts in the morning, check.
Syrupy texts before bedtime, check.
Adequate speed limit in replying texts, check.
A glimpse of each other's activities on a daily basis, check.
Phone calls, check.
Surprise phone calls, check.
A promise to lay in each other's arms, check
Leaving kisses in texts, check.

But it won't be that easy this time, for they all began exactly like this. I'm sorry, darling, but you have to work much harder.

Perfect World

Wherever I go, the world seems to scream at my face how I should've lived my life.

In a perfect world, I'm that mother of 4 children I saw at Asian Civilizations Museum in Singapore, who patiently explained every bits and pieces being displayed to her geeky children in a Friday afternoon.

In a perfect world, he would make good use of his gold Durex with me. And while doing that - were we that lucky being filmed by the ghost of Hitchcock - the camera would roll to shoot one door being opened after another, just like a scene in Spellbound.

But I was just that girl holding back the tears while looking at the mother of 4 walking around the entire museum. The same silent tears I held when reading a certain text: "Btw, made good use of my gold Durex last night."

Whore Obsession

I just read this on some stranger's blog - a Dutch who happens to live in Singapore:
"A regular, educated western guy who will never date a girl who works as a cashier in a supermarket gets heart broken over a little whore who is not capable of a decent conversation and drains him of as much cash as possible in the process."

It forced a bitter smile on my face.

Another Dutch in another space and time had the same experience towards a Brazillian whore having 3 children from 3 different men. They met in Brazil (she drove a car like a maniac as well as prayed a devotion to Virgin Mary till she cried), so he said.

One day he accidentally told a stupid, naive Indonesian girl that came along after her: "... but wherever she goes, my heart is always with her." And when this stupid Indonesian girl asked why didn't he be with her, where he left his heart with, he only said: "It's complicated."

Yes of course it's so complicated, for the complication was vividly spelled 3 baggage in the form of little children (and probably still counting) from 3 different men (and also probably still counting).

Don't get me wrong. I do respect whores, for they just do a job like the rest of us. It was just a bit hard to swallow how someone preferred only good sex over good sex, endless good conversation under the stars on some paradise island, and an offer of a shattered heart that had been half-glued.

What's with the Dutch's whore obsession? And what's with the stupid Indonesian girl still hoping the Dutch guy would even let her sit close beside him on a bench in a starry night post that but-wherever-she-goes-my-heart-is-always-with-her crap? Come on, she couldn't even compete with the tightness of the arse owned by the Brazillian whore from doing too much samba!

Another Blog

Due to unfamiliar function of this blog, which I then personally certify it as non-user friendly, I welcome everybody ever bumped into my grotesque rage to visit my other blog: http://scarredsoul.multiply.com

It's as bleak as here, but at least you'll find pictures there.

Has The Rain Stopped?

My life suddenly goes so right that it feels so wrong. I've been so used to living under rainclouds that when the rain stops and the dark clouds move away from my head to welcome the shining sun, I just don't dare to close my umbrella. I'm afraid the rain just might fall again any time soon, that it's better keep my umbrella opened. I can't stand the sun, anyway.

I didn't know what I've done to ever deserve to get my babies .... ehm I mean, my columns back this soon. That alone was enough to give me a good reason to wake up in the morning and look forward to every Wednesday and Thursday when I would usually have a quality time with them.

But that was not all. A phone call from a superior almost made me jump from my seat when I was informed that in 2 weeks I will have a first class cabin cruising from Singapore to Malaysia and Phuket Island in Thailand ... FOR FREE! I've always been dying to go on a vacation by the sea despite all the memories I buried between the grains of sand in some paradise islands, but having my secret prayer answered in this elegant way ... I was just speechless.

And I still am.

I guess I will have to make sure there's enough money in my account, just in case I'm faced with expensive bill and the payment for whatever price has to be done in cash. And yes, keep an umbrella at all time, for even the sun can get so fierce.

Oh rain, should I really close my umbrella, would you stay away from me?