Ghastly Dreams

Having cried myself to sleep of watching Happy Together and had horrible dreams, I woke up this morning with a dreadful mood. And now I’m left with the familiar I-can’t-face-the-world feeling. Even Paul Heaton and Jacqueline Abbot’s voices of The Beautiful South singing Masculine Eclipse on my stereo can’t soothe my petrified soul this time.

I dreamed about the sonofabitch colleague stealing my reimbursement report. In my dream, it’s really her who took it. When I confronted her, I got so mad that I ended up barking at her, calling her names and smacking her face.

Hatred is strenuous. Anger is energy draining.

I also saw the majestic Iquazu Falls in Argentina in my dream. That’s one of the settings of Happy Together where the gay couple has always dreamed of going, but in the end only one of them manages to go after the breakup. In real life, at the exact same location in another time and space, J was there too.

Even though I was on beta waves, I could feel myself trembling.

It’s true that everything surrenders to the law of gravity. Including hearts. That insignificant part of anatomy is meant to fall from grace of cloud nine to the floor, sometimes even to the mud of pigs’ farm!